One of the medical experts Chris Hemsworth meets on Limitless with Chris Hemsworth is BJ Miller, MD, a palliative care physician at the University of California, San Francisco, Cancer Center. In 1990, Miller—then a college sophomore—had to have his lower legs and part of one arm amputated after an electrocution accident. Upon returning to school, he switched his major from international relations to art history. “I wanted to figure out what it means to be human,” he says now. “I was looking at statues from antiquity with arms and legs broken off over the years and realized I wasn't saying, ‘Oh, that was a beautiful statue; too bad it's lost its legs.’ Was I less of a person because I had fewer body parts?”
Ultimately, Miller fell in love with his prosthetic limbs. “I have carbon fiber feet, and they are beautiful,” he says. “I became fascinated with the idea of working with what we have and celebrating the differences.”
Accepting physical decline and other consequences of aging—the concept he shares with Hemsworth on Limitless—is not “giving in or giving up,” Dr. Miller says. “That's often the language around illness— that you're in some battle. But someday we are all going to ‘lose.’ There are many ways to get there, and essentially that's our life's work, all of us.”
Dr. Miller identifies several tactics for reframing our thinking about aging that can ease us toward acceptance.
Recognize what you can and can't control. “Work on both ends of that dynamic,” says Dr. Miller. “You're not completely powerless, but don't pretend you can control everything.”
Embrace aging. “As we age, our bodies get more vulnerable. But vulnerability is related to strength,” he says. “We are living, human flesh that can be hurt, but we still go on. That's our strength.”
Learn to welcome change. “We are creating and re-creating ourselves all the time. The way I feel about myself is different from when I was 20. We are always changing,” he says. “I have met people who say that when they can no longer read, think, or recognize people, they want to be done. But from observation, there's a lot of life beyond our thoughts. I gain a lot from watching children and being with animals. I don't want to minimize what it is to lose our cognitive function from what we have known it to be, but I do see people go through that and still find joy.”
Discover your resilience. “Look back at the life you've already lived and think of all the things you've lost, from a pet to a lover to a parent. You've had losses and dealt with them and regrouped a million times. You already know a lot about change and loss and appreciation,” Dr. Miller says.
Find inspiration outside yourself. “We will lose our function and die, and this life will end. But that's this one,” Dr. Miller says. “There are zillions of them. Take comfort, joy, and curiosity in the world outside yourself. That's where immortality is, that big life of which you are a part, but just a part.”
Understand the process. Acceptance is gradual and nonlinear, says palliative care specialist James Gordon, MD, FAAN, clinical associate professor of neurology at the University of Washington in Seattle. “I've spent most of my career helping people through the end of life and learning how to transform the rough stuff into something that is at least tolerable. Sometimes it's beautiful, and sometimes it's not.”
Be open to the unexpected. “Sometimes the most transformative experiences are with the most unlikely teachers,” says Dr. Gordon. “It might be the night orderly at the hospital who has a few minutes to sit at your bedside.”
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