Our son, Henry, who was born with spina bifida, was just 8 months old for his first Halloween. He spent the evening sleeping on my chest in a sling while his 2-year-old sister, June, toddled around the neighborhood dressed as Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz. By his second Halloween, my husband and I realized just how different the holiday would look because of Henry’s disability.

While he was cognitively and socially on track with other kids his age, we knew he’d never be able to run around the neighborhood, cut through lawns, or climb porch steps to beg for candy. If Henry wanted to trick-or-treat with the rest of us, he'd need a walker or wheelchair to get around.

To help make his experience as fun and festive as possible, my husband and I follow these tips.

1. Practice beforehand.
   We do a dry run of our route the night before to help us prepare for roadblocks, both literal and figurative. We identify any cracked sidewalks or uneven pavement and note driveways or walkways blocked by cars parked haphazardly. “I think it's a great idea to practice Halloween beforehand,” says Miya R. Asato, MD, a pediatric neurologist specializing in neurodevelopment at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine. She suggests parents show their children how to approach a door and ring the doorbell. They should practice saying trick or treat and walking around in the dark. “Otherwise it can be an exhausting experience for everybody.” Practice can help kids with physical challenges get used to navigating crowds. For kids with autism spectrum disorder, it may help alleviate some of the anxiety involved in speaking with strangers, says Dr. Asato.
   
   
2. Be flexible.
   Even the best-laid plans can change: A costume may get tangled in a wheelchair spoke; Henry may become overheated, a common side effect of one of the medications he takes; or an especially steep driveway or broken sidewalk may require us to carry him to the door or find a more accessible route. Because of this, we are always prepared to alter our plans. “It’s important for parents to gauge what their children are ready for and adjust,” says Dr. Asato. If, for example, your child is scared or tired, don’t hesitate to cut the evening short.
   
   
3. Do what works.
   On social media every October, the most adorable pictures of kids in their Halloween costumes, wheelchair and all, go viral. Mobility devices are so normalized now that even Target has joined in on the fun, launching two costumes this year designed to incorporate a wheelchair. I love seeing creative wheelchair costumes, but, for now, we are not following that trend. Henry gets enough attention from his wheelchair, drawing more to it may make him embarrassed or overly self-conscious. He wants to be like everyone else and chose something anyone might wear whether that’s Elmo, a policeman, or a firefighter, so we honor that.

In many ways, Henry's disability has changed our lives, including the way we celebrate Halloween. But with a few small tweaks, it's a holiday we're still able to enjoy fully.

Sarah Watts is an independent journalist who lives in the Chicago suburbs with her husband and two children. She enjoys movie marathons and eating Indian food.