At every meal, I spend a lot of time eating mindfully and chewing slowly. I always move my tongue around to make sure no fine particles get lodged in mouth pockets and tip my chin to swallow carefully. I do this often to make sure everything goes down easily, without choking.

Swallowing difficulties, also known as dysphagia, can affect people differently depending on which muscles are weak and whether they’re in the mouth, tongue, throat, or esophagus. Some people may have to avoid certain foods. Others risk coughing if they speak and eat simultaneously—which can lead to a choking incident.

I have trouble speaking while eating, and over the years I’ve gotten used to dining at home with just my spouse, who understands my limitations. But not everyone does. The holidays, with their extended-family meals and festive parties, can be challenging. Since I want to be a part of these events and still be safe, I’ve figured out some workarounds.

Bring soft foods.
I’m a vegetarian, so some of my favorite foods, like hummus, are already mushy. And hummus has grown in popularity; I found edamame hummus in Arkansas on a recent trip. If I’m going to a party at someone’s home and I’m unsure of the menu, I often bring hummus with me. Other go-to foods include mashed potatoes, avocado, nut butters, oatmeal, applesauce, and certain fruits.

Tell the host. 
I never want to be that high-maintenance guest, but either I or my spouse will explain that I can’t talk while eating. Instead, I’ll hold my thoughts until my mouth and throat are clear of food. I’ll engage with a comment or two, and then I’m a great listener. Sometimes I use my eyes or hand gestures to express a reaction.

Practice mindful eating.
During the meal, I am very focused on eating. I take each step—chewing, swallowing—slowly. I don’t rush or try to eat foods I’ve had trouble with before, such as raw vegetables, rice, and dishes with whole nuts or pieces of them. I take a small bite of food, then chew and swallow it. I don’t take another bite until I’ve completely swallowed the previous one.

Keep water handy. 
Having experienced many coughing fits while drinking or eating, I’ve discovered a few items that may help me. The first is a glass of water. I never eat without a glass of water nearby. If I feel a tickle at the back of my throat, a drink of water can ease the tickle. If I start choking, I quickly take note that I can breathe through my nose. That helps alleviate the anxiety that inevitably kicks in. To combat the cough, I take a throat lozenge or rub a vapor stick on my neck.

Having trouble swallowing is tough, especially during the holiday season, but these tips and tricks help me enjoy many events I might otherwise avoid. With awareness, new skills, and preparedness, as well as patience and concern from friends and family, I’ve been able to adjust to my body’s changes.

Leslie Krongold, EdD, lives in Alameda, CA, where she leads support group meetings for the Myotonic Dystrophy Foundation. She also writes a blog and produces a podcast series called Glass Half Full.