As the main caretaker for my husband, David, who has Parkinson's disease and myasthenia gravis, and my son, who has juvenile diabetes and needs dialysis, I sometimes wake up and think, "I'll just stay in bed today. Maybe no one will need me."
On days like this when I feel totally overwhelmed, I shift my focus and reflect on the positive things in my life. Like breakfast.
My husband wakes up every morning at 6, drives to the gas station to get the day's paper, then comes home and turns on the Today show. He says he likes the way people on the show laugh and interact with one another. At 7:30, he enters the bedroom singing, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…" He doesn't know all the words, so he adds his own.
While I get ready, he fixes our breakfast—raisin bread toast, coffee, and ice cold orange juice, just the way I like it. Then he puts my pills in a little dish, and puts all of that, with a small glass of water, on a TV tray and carries it into the living room. The other day he surprised me by putting a little vase of zinnias that I had grown, on our tray. He knows how happy those "little ladies", as I call them, make me feel.
He says grace before meals and asks if there's anything else I need. Doesn't he know that he is all I need? How lucky can a girl be?
David was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease in January 2014, and myasthenia gravis in August 2015. I am very thankful that he is as independent as he is. He gets very tired, and would like to be able to work, but he worries about me, and wants to make my days the best he can. That may be why we will celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary next week. We have always thought of each other first.
It's not easy to watch what the diseases are doing to his body, and how it makes him feel to not go to the office every day. But, the last thing I want to do is feel sorry for him, or for myself. Part of my job is to make our days better.
Tomorrow, if I'm lucky, I will wake up to my husband's off-key singing, enjoy our breakfast together, maybe take David or our son to a doctor's appointment, start decorating our house for our anniversary party, and count my many blessings. And it's okay if I need to take a nap in the afternoon, which I usually do. I will rest and think about how fortunate I am to truly see the many joys in my life.
Connie Bourgeau lives in Naples, FL, with her husband and son. She retired from teaching elementary school after a 34-year career. She volunteers for the Parkinson's Association of Southwest Florida.