Meeting Mom Where She Is

I really felt for Kimberly Williams-Paisley and her family when I read the article about their struggles with their mother's primary progressive aphasia ("Shining a Light," August/September 2016). My mother also had the disease, which progressed to Alzheimer's disease before she passed away. It was painful knowing there were things she wanted to say to us but no longer could. At times, we ascertained her desires through her facial expressions. I choose to believe she never forgot who we were, as her face did light up each time she saw us. We will never know, though, because she lost the ability to speak long before those memories would have faded. Like Williams-Paisley, it was liberating for me to accept my mother for who she was at every stage. We always talked to her about our childhood to keep the memories alive for all of us. But we created special rituals in the present, too. When she came to live with me, I hung a bird feeder outside her window so we could watch the birds together. We also watched movies together. I wish Mom had never had this disease, but I'm grateful for the years I had to enrich her experience as much as I could. I look forward to reading Williams-Paisley's book. - Cathy Thompson, San Antonio, TX

Standing Up to Stigma

I could relate to the article about artist Paula Hayes, who has epilepsy ("Coming Out," October/November 2016). I've had epilepsy since I was 7 years old. After being diagnosed in 1970, the doctors told my mother I would never go to school, never drive or get a job, never get married or have children. My mother grabbed my hand and told the doctors to go to hell. Although I was discriminated against as a child—people thought epilepsy was contagious, and I had few friends—I went on to graduate from school, drive, get a job, get married, and have children. All I wanted was to be normal. Then I realized I am normal. My kind of normal. Like Paula Hayes, I'm no longer going to be ashamed of myself and my illness. I'm not going hide. That only furthers the stigma of having epilepsy. - Melissa Smith, Lawrenceville, GA

Nerve Pain

Thank you for your informative article on diabetic nerve pain ("Touching a Nerve," August/September 2016), which included an explanation of peripheral neuropathy. I have peripheral neuropathy as a result of chemotherapy. I was also interested to read the article about Scott Adams and his experience with spasmodic dysphonia ("Having His Say," August/September 2016), which my husband had before he passed away. - Frances Kadish, Brookline, MA

I read your magazine as soon as it arrives hoping there will be an article or two about neuropathy. I live with this painful condition, which makes me fall and affects my circulation. Walking is excruciating, but I still walk as much as I can even though I usually pay the price at night. Are you planning any articles about this debilitating condition? - Pat Lewis, La Grange, NC

THE EDITOR RESPONDS: In our feature on Cedric the Entertainer ("Touching a Nerve," August/September 2016), he talks about his father, who has diabetic neuropathy. You can also read our past articles.

Coping with Caregiving

With respect to your excellent article on caregiving ("Tough Love," August/September 2016), I would like to draw your attention to my friend and colleague, Alberto Ramos Tapia of New York City. For the last 10 years, he has been the chief caretaker of his 75-year-old wife, who had a cerebral hemorrhage and multiple strokes. He attends to all aspects of daily living, from preparing her favorite foods and taking her to local restaurants to dressing and bathing her and helping her to move from her bedroom to her seat at the table. Because of his devotion, his wife has been able to maintain her dignity and privacy. He is certainly the exception to the assertion that women are better caretakers than men and that women with strokes are often abandoned by their husbands. - Robert S. April, MD, New York, NY

Thanks for a terrific article on spousal caregiving! The real-life stories shared and the advice given is spot on. This is much-needed reading for anyone caring for a spouse. I am a hospice volunteer and see firsthand the critical relief provided for the spousal caregiver when I sit with a patient. - Jack Smith, Columbia, SC

Can you please do a story on trigeminal neuralgia (TN)? I have had it for eight years, and in recent years I have found support groups on Facebook. The network we have is amazing. Every year, International Trigeminal Neuralgia Awareness Day on October 7 gets bigger, with more buildings lighting up teal, more television coverage, and more support. If you could do a story on this condition, I sure would love that and would share it all over social media. - Kimberly Marin, Williamson, NC

THE EDITOR RESPONDS: Thank you for your letter. To see all our articles about this disease, see our article archives.