When the time comes for a child to move out on their own—whether they're going off to college or getting a job and their first apartment—it's natural for parents to worry. Will he eat anything but pizza? Does she know how to do her laundry without turning the whites pink? Will he pay his rent on time? Will they be safe?

But for the parents of a soon-to-be adult with a neurologic or neurodevelopmental condition, those typical worries are magnified by a host of other concerns about independent living that other parents may not have to grapple with.

If your child has a neurologic condition that does not prevent him or her from living on their own at some point, don't wait until they're about to turn 18 to start planning for their eventual independence. That preparation process should happen years earlier, experts say. 

We turned to experts for tips on navigating the transition period for young adults with three very different categories of neurologic conditions.

Resources to Help the Transition to an Independent Life 

Moving on to College or Work

• For both the college-bound and those headed straight into the working world, Autism Speaks offers a comprehensive Transition Tool Kit: bit.ly/TransitionToolKit.
• The Autism Speaks Resources Guide (bit.ly/ASResourceGuide) provides a state-by-state database that can connect you with transition preparation services such as vocational training.
• The Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) runs its own transitional services website with resources on things like independent living, education, and career planning: www.mda.org/young-adults

Preparing for Medical Emergencies

Whether your child has acute migraine episodes, flare-ups related to multiple sclerosis, or another neurological condition, it is always good to have a written plan in place that provides specific information about the condition, emergency contacts, and protocols for how best to respond. Check out a sample Seizure Action Plan from the Epilepsy Foundation, for example.

Off to College

When Kerry Magro started college, he didn't know that he would no longer have an individualized education plan (IEP)—which had been developed during his early school years to accommodate his unique learning, social and emotional challenges, and development.

"I remember going in for orientation at the disability support services office and saying, 'Set me up with an IEP and I'll be out the door!' They looked at me like I had six heads," says Magro, who was diagnosed at age four with pervasive developmental disorder—not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS)—a group of disorders characterized by delays in socialization and communication skills.

In college, Magro quickly learned he would have to become his own advocate and ask professors directly for accommodations—for example, extended time on tests and a separate classroom to take those tests, as well as a person designated to take notes in his classes.

But despite that surprise, Magro says his parents prepared him very well for the leap from his specialized high school for children with learning disabilities in Teaneck, NJ, with a student body of only 160 kids, to the large campus of Seton Hall University in nearby South Orange, with 9,000 students. "They were always my best advocates and coaches, and they focused a lot on transition services," he says.

Among their preparations for college, Magro's parents advised him to select a school close to home, so that he could live on campus but come back to touch base when needed. They suggested that he take a lighter course load in his first semester to help ease the transition, and they requested a single dorm room so that he could socialize with his peers in the dorms but still have a private place to which to retreat. Finally, they taught him important life skills such as how to do laundry, shop for groceries, pay bills, and use public transportation.

Magro now works in social marketing for Autism Speaks, an advocacy organization for people living with autism spectrum disorders. And through the organization, he mentors high school students who have a form of autism and who are preparing to make the same transition.

What if your young adult is not going to college, but is making the leap directly from living at home to getting a job and a place of their own? Magro recommends breaking up that transition into two manageable pieces: job first, apartment (or other independent housing) second.

"The kids may want to go out and explore and try everything at once, but this is a marathon, not a sprint," he says. "It's a good idea for them to take a few months and live at home while getting used to having a full-time job, and focus on vocational skills like laundry, cooking, transportation, and driving."

Says Magro: "I like what [famous cattle expert and autistic author] Temple Grandin says about stretching our kids and thinking of them as like an elastic band. You want to stretch them and see how much they can do, but like an elastic band, you don't want to stretch them so far that the band snaps and you have to go back to square one."

Moving Out

Patricia Osborne Shafer, RN, understands the transition to independent living for young adults with epilepsy from multiple perspectives: She has lived with epilepsy all her life, she has an adult son with seizures, and, as a nurse, she specializes in care for epilepsy patients. She also does research at the Comprehensive Epilepsy Program at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center in Boston.

"The risks and challenges of this transition, in my experience, are under-appreciated by some families but over-exaggerated by others. That probably relates to the type of seizures the child has, but also what kind of education and support the family has," Shafer says. "For example, if the child has milder or more frequent seizures that don't necessarily involve a loss of consciousness, there may be the tendency to think they are more benign and you don't need to worry, which is not necessarily correct, and maybe the transition issues don't become apparent until a crisis happens. On the other hand, there are families that can be overly frightened by the prospect of letting go."

As a young person with epilepsy reaches his or her early teens, Shafer says, it's a good idea to start preparing them for the transition to adulthood by shifting control of doctors' appointments from the parents to the child.

"Epilepsy is still a family affair, but in these transitional years, the key manager and decision-maker changes," says Shafer. "Teenagers should be allowed to have more independence and autonomy in managing their health care appointments and taking the lead in conversations with their care team. But with that said, if the seizures involve lapses of awareness, loss of consciousness, or cognitive problems, the teen or young adult should understand the importance of keeping parents or a significant other involved in their care."

As a teen or young adult with epilepsy prepares to leave home for college or a job, it's also important to get an updated neuropsychological profile to evaluate how epilepsy is currently affecting their ability to function in day-to-day life. A neuropsychologist will use standardized tests to assess various aspects of thinking and behavior—like memory, problem-solving, attention, and mood—in order to better understand your child's personal strengths and weaknesses.

"This can help parents understand whether they need to let go more, or help the person with epilepsy understand more about the help they may need at this stage in their lives," says Shafer. "Things may have changed significantly since earlier in childhood. This profile shouldn't stop at dealing with seizures: It should address things like vocational and work concerns, finances, and relationships. Can these be managed independently or does the person need help? We want as much independence as possible, but you need a thorough understanding of how the brain is working to know how much to expect."

Another critical question to discuss is how the type of seizures, their severity, frequency, and level of control may affect the child's ability to live on his or her own. If seizures are infrequent and fairly well managed, it may be feasible to live alone safely, but for those with poorly controlled seizures, especially certain types of seizures, living completely alone can be much riskier.

"Certain types of seizures, such as tonic-clonic or nocturnal seizures, put a person at higher risk for sudden unexpected death in epilepsy (SUDEP)," says Shafer. "Living alone with nocturnal seizures is the biggest risk factor for SUDEP. What would happen if you had a seizure alone and couldn't call for help? These are situations where having a roommate who has been briefed on how to help you in an emergency would be a good idea."

For someone whose seizures aren't well controlled, a driver's license may not be an option, either. If that's the case, consider colleges or apartments and homes that are in areas well served by public transportation. "If you can't drive and are at a college that's very rural, it can be very isolating," says Shafer. "If you choose a college or job in a city with a public transportation system, or even outside the city but close to a train line, then the inability to drive doesn't have to shut down your life."

Even if living solo is a feasible option, it's important to choose an apartment or dorm room that has safety features in place, or one where they can be easily installed. Some safety measures to consider include:

• Dense pile carpets and pads on sharp furniture corners in case of falls
• Electric, rather than gas, appliances
• Grab bars and a shower seat in the tub
• The ability to set water heater temperature maximums to prevent scalding
• Buildings with an elevator instead of walk-ups

Young adults with epilepsy who live on their own should also set up a "buddy system," having a friend or family member call daily to make sure all is well. Alternatively, or in addition, they can sign up for a personalized alert service like Lifeline (lifelinesys.com ); make sure to choose one that has an automated alert feature that can place a call for help in the event of a fall, even if the person can't press a help button.

You may have already submitted to your child's school nurse or principal a Seizure Action Plan or Seizure Response Plan. These plans provide information about your child's epilepsy type, the emergency medical protocols that should be followed, and important contacts. As your child makes the move out of your house, it is important to develop a new Seizure Action Plan focused on independent living.

This kind of planning would also be helpful for any other neurological conditions, such as migraine or multiple sclerosis, where there could be flare-ups that require a back-up medical treatment plan. It would be useful for your child to provide a copy of that plan to a roommate, a dorm resident advisor, campus health services, or even the local emergency medical services if you live in a relatively small town.

"As your child becomes more independent and moves off to the next stage of their life, the parents need to let go and recognize that they're no longer the primary source of day-to-day support and help," says Shafer. "It's time to help them identify who else in their new environment can be that kind of support."

How Much Independence? 

Parents of children with more severely disabling conditions, including neuromuscular diseases like muscular dystrophy and spinal muscular atrophy, may think that their children will never be able to safely live on their own. But for Indiana mom Karen Russo, the vision of an independent life for her two children, Natalie and JC-both of whom have spinal muscular atrophy (SMA) type 2-began when they were toddlers. They have been in wheelchairs all their lives.

"We met a woman in her 40s with SMA who lived on her own, and she invited us over for dinner," recalls Russo. "I'm thinking, 'How is she going to do this?' The only things she could move were her eyelids and her mouth. But there she was in the kitchen with her aide, giving the aide instructions on every detail possible, from how the table would be set to how to prepare the meal. It opened my eyes to the world of having an assistant to be your arms and your legs and still having the ability to think for yourself and have things done the way you want them. It was a little glimpse into what the future held for my children."

The Russos moved frequently when Natalie and JC were younger—father Dominic was in the hotel business—and in each new town, they became involved with the local Muscular Dystrophy Association (MDA) group and met new SMA families. "We met one family with kids two and three years old who were already in power chairs, as opposed to regular wheelchairs pushed by their parents. Our doctor at the time wasn't into prescribing two-year-olds power chairs, but I saw that these kids were independent and could get away from mama's lap and kind of do what little kids are supposed to do. JC and Natalie went into power chairs right after that because I wanted them to have the independence of being able to escape their family when they wanted to. If they were mad at me they could go off to their bedroom, or they could be on their own in the grocery store or at Disneyland. From a very young age, they learned independence and choices."

Russo advises parents of children with neuromuscular diseases to start the move toward independence early, with brief periods at MDA camp or other overnight camps for kids with similar conditions. Natalie, now 25, and JC, now 24, started going when they were just six years old and continued through their teen years.

"It's more than just a week's getaway. It's really preparing them for the future," Russo says. "By the time they moved on to college, it wasn't a major ordeal to have someone else besides us take care of them. They'd gotten used to it. And we always talked about what they wanted to be when they grew up, what college they were going to go to. We talked about them living on their own, as we'd seen other kids at the MDA camps and SMA groups do it through the years."

Natalie was the first to make the move. An aspiring graphic designer, she chose to attend nearby Ball State University, which has a highly accessible campus. She graduated in 2011 and now lives in a condo with a roommate. She drives an adapted car to her job as a Web designer for the Yellow Pages group.

Natalie decided to share an apartment with her college roommate, who was familiar with her needs and could help out if Natalie's aide did not show up on time for one of her three daily shifts. "We paid to have handicap buttons installed on the outside door to the condo, but that was the biggest thing we had to change," Natalie says. "The apartment is pretty wide open, so we didn't have to do much else other than take the doors off the shower and put a shower chair in there."

After graduating from Purdue University in December 2013, JC took an even greater leap, moving to Fort Worth, Texas, to take an IT position with Bell Helicopter.

A college environment is a good "training ground for adulthood" for many young people, but Karen Russo says it's a particularly helpful transitional step for kids with SMA and other neurologic conditions. "It allows them to live independently, but in a safe environment and a somewhat supervised setting. In the dorms they have support from other students and the resident advisors—they're not in an apartment building with strangers. It's the best introduction to real life you can find."

Research Transition Early

"We have a whole generation of young people now who have been outliving their diagnoses by years and years and far exceeding the expectations their doctors and parents had," says Jodi Wolff, a certified social worker who is the MDA's director of clinical services. "Their parents were told to just take them home and love them, and now they're college graduates, lawyers, doctors, married with kids of their own."

Wolff recommends that parents of kids with neuromuscular disorders "learn as much as you can as soon as you can about the services that are available, like the Medicaid Waiver program, Social Security, and vocational rehabilitation services in your area," she says. "They may provide tuition support, funding for books, accessible transportation, and assistance with aide care at college."

No matter what neurologic condition your child has, one challenge is universal: Getting them to the point of independence can be very stressful. "Young people I talk to all say that their parents are nervous as heck, but I'm not sure that it's that much different than parents of non-disabled teenagers who are 17 or 18 and moving away from home for the first time," says Wolff. "Ultimately, you can't wrap them in bubble wrap; you just have to do your best and hope you've prepared them well."

Karen Russo agrees. "You can help your kids as much as possible, but ultimately it's up to them. I know it probably wasn't easy for Natalie or JC, and I'm sure I don't know some of the horror stories, but I know they'll always find a way to handle whatever comes along."