I saw two patients recently who were coping with the deaths of family members. One had lost her daughter suddenly only a few weeks earlier, and another had lost his wife after a terminal illness a few months ago. Caring for bereaved patients is not something physicians receive training for in medical school or most residencies, and many of us feel ill-equipped to handle the conversations that follow disclosures like those from my patients. Even a simple condolence may not be helpful or welcome.
As Lisa M. Shulman, MD, FAAN, writes in her book Before and After Loss: A Neurologist's Perspective on Loss, Grief, and Our Brain (Johns Hopkins University Press, 2018), "expressing condolences eases loss, feels virtuous. No such relief for the recipient." A neurologist and member of the Brain & Life editorial board, Dr. Shulman offers many other insights into loss you may not have considered previously. She also details the neurologic processes during grief and shares tips for healing and restoration.
I have learned through my patients that people who are grieving may eat poorly, have trouble sleeping, or forget to take their medications. Their own health may become compromised, so I ask about those things. As actress Rita Wilson shares in our cover story on Alzheimer's disease, her mother's emotional and mental decline began following the death of Rita's father. Because grief can express itself in so many ways, doctors sometimes find it difficult to diagnose their patients properly during this time.
Our feature "The Long Reach of Grief" was inspired by Dr. Shulman's book, which Baltimore magazine named one of its must-reads of the year. In the article, we explore the psychological and neurologic effects of loss and provide healthy ways to cope. We also interview Dr. Shulman about how the brain responds to grief.
Having meaningful conversations about difficult subjects such as grief is dependent on having a good doctor-patient relationship. That relationship has become more elusive over the last decade or so as doctors have become more tied to their computers and tablets for recording visits. In our article "Better Connections," we discuss why a strong relationship with your neurologist is important and offer suggestions for expressing your needs to your doctors, including reminding us to pay attention when we appear distracted by technology.
Just as sharing feedback with your doctor builds a stronger relationship, sharing feedback with us helps us create a stronger publication. If you like our magazine, tear out the subscription card inside and give it to a friend. And if you are in the Philadelphia area on May 9, please join us at the American Academy of Neurology's Brain Health Fair at the Pennsylvania Convention Center. It's free, and along with many other activities, you can visit us at the Brain & Life tent, which will be staffed by neurologists from our editorial board who would love to meet you!
Finally, for those of you who have lost someone, if you'd like to share a memory or tell us how you coped, please write to us at BrainandLife@wolterskluwercom.
Orly Avitzur, MD, MBA, FAAN, Editor-in-Chief
